We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
