Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
