My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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