Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
