I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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