What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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