That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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