your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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