I think my vagina is haunted
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have aggressive nipples.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
