even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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