conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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