were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
