hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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