After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize