Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
