I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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