therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
