The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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