every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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