You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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