I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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