I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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