it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
