real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
