Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
