there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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