He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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