never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
