I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
