Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize