just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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