is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
