Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize