You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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