I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
