Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
not ubering you a puppy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
