why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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