The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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