I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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