Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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