Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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