false alarm. still invincible.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
