i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
