Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
