enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
