Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
