Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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