Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
