Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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