The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize