You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
