his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
