At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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