we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
