We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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