Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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