You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
