the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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