I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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