whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
