Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
