he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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