How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
