dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
