He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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