i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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