Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
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