Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
