Screwed.edu
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
