Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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