i just had sex bonerless
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
