I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
